Office Friend

As you grow older in life you realize there are more and more acquaintances and less and less friends.

When you are young you have less of most things, and ironically,those things that you acquire on your way to growing up, become the most of the obstacles at a later point. So becoming friends with someone at an early age is lot easier than as you grow older.You can become quickly acquainted…but becoming friends is something different.

Back in the childhood carefree days,school,test,holiday were your entire environment and the only ones who shared that with you were your school mates.Once you go through this routine for years together,you become friends.You even got punished together.!

Now circle back to adult life. Why are we not able to make friends even after working with so many colleagues for so long.? please don’t mistake good acquaintances for good friends.These are two separate things.

The problem starts when you mix up the two. That’s when everything starts to go wrong.

The proportion of trust in you for others is inversely proportional to time.There are exceptions, as there are to most philosophies on the planet.but by and large every strong relationship gets tested.Either by time or circumstance.

So who do you trust at work ?

  1. April 13, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    If you stay in an organisation for long, you end up making friends of your colleagues. This is the case with me from my previous organisation. I have shifted jobs, moved to a new location but yet, all of my night outs, hang outs, chill outs etc etc are still with friends from the previous organisation!😀. In fact some of my closest friends are those from that organisation. Off course, then there are others who remain acquaintances and I guess that is how you have to distinguish people from one another!

    • April 13, 2010 at 2:21 pm

      Nishant – it s good to know most of your colleagues have become friends. But keep in mind – the element of competition.Once that starts to creep in – friendship is difficult to maintain and swings back into being a good acquaintance.There are times when good friends start to get uncomfortable when you get promoted and they don’t. and we are no exceptions either.Try feeling jubilated when someone gets promoted instead of you, inspite of you being more eligible,talented [always the case] and more deserving.It hurts – because you are ambitious..if it doesn’t then either you have another job or another boss….

      Not every race in life is won.For some victories you’ve got to wait for your turn.more often than not, they turn out to be sweeter. the idea is to stay positive, even for the less deserving candidate.you see for him he tried harder,sacrificed more, and slept lesser than you, to get this role.So that is his ultimate truth and you can’t contest that. Sometimes life is not fair…get over it.Move on, become the tough nut to crack,and show some character.
      Try until a certain time frame – if it doesn’t work – move on to something else.

  2. April 12, 2010 at 11:58 am

    My closests friends, confidantes are invariably my colleagues. Is it because women bond easily?

    • April 12, 2010 at 12:10 pm

      Women and bond go together. James is particularly good at it.
      But knowing James, he will never stick to one…and that sets off a chaos. :-))

      [sorry bt. tht. – just had to get it out of my way.]

      Purba, time and circumstance determine who is a close friend and who is a great acquaintance.
      It is not uncommon for non-competing colleagues to be friends..or good acquaintances…but
      once it becomes one against the other,the stakes are higher,the friendships fly out of the window.

  3. April 11, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    It is a tricky situation Rav. sometimes distrusting everyone could backfire as a strategy.

  4. rav
    April 11, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Some of my colleagues also believed the same, “don’t look for friends in office, there can only be acquaintances.”

    I believe the way we think about it is more important, if we look for friends we might have some; after-all colleagues also share moments,though only professional, of happiness and sorrow together.

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